"It is too perfect"

On Tuesday's All Things Considered, there was an interesting interview with Barry Villcliff, a roofer from Manchester, NH. On a day too rainy to do roofing, he and roofer pal Kevin Kozak decided to help their friend roofer Tim Crebase dig up a bush in his yard in Methuen, MA. In the process, they found a wooden box containing several rusty cans filled with about 1,800 bills, mostly $1 and $2, but since they were printed between 1899 and 1929, they were quite valuable, worth more than $100,000. This was not the only interview given by the trio or the only report about their find.

However, on Friday's All Things Considered, there was an interesting interview with Joseph Solomon, police chief from Methuen, MA, who had just arrested Barry Billcliff (It seems he told various media outlets that his last name started with a V instead of a B for some reason.) and Tim Crebase for having stolen the money from a house that was being renovated. Arrest warants were also issued for Kozak and fellow roofer Matt Ingham.

Going back and listening to Tuesday's interview with (B/V)illcliff knowing that he is fabricating it is quite entertaining, especially the part when interviewer Melissa Block asks him about how a suspicious person might find this story a little too perfect. Also, there is a great AP photo of the trio on this article.

High Tension

Since I'm returning to this film to write about it again six months after watching it, you can bet that it made an impression on me. I noticed that on June 3, 2005, Alexandre Aja's 2003 film Haute Tension will be released in the US. I think it will be dubbed, and it will be released under the literal title High Tension, and not its previous international English title Switchblade Romance. This morning on the way to school, I kept pondering two questions: 1) Did this film "earn its ending"? and 2) What if a friend, someone I know and care about asked me "Should I see this film?" What should I say?

I'm a little uncertain about exactly what "earning its ending" means in the circle of writers and critics thereof, and so, I'll use it my own way. This film clearly has earned an ending. The first two-thirds of it are truly filled with tension. It's expertly crafted genre filmmaking, with the crazy madman having killed a few family members and kidnapped the young female college student home for the weekend. Her friend, who has a crush on her, must try to rescue her. Oh, her friend is also female. There are genuine feelings of peril. But the ending totally mystifies me. It is in no way earned. Somewhere there is a film spralling on the sidewalk having been beaten and its ending stolen. I have never been so angry at a filmmaker for cheating. There must be something deeper here that I am missing. Anyone who can craft the first two-thirds of this film has to be smart enough to realize the de-nooy-ment is so mindblowingly awful. Aja has clearly given his film an intentionally crappy ending for social commentary purposes that are lost on me.

So should you see it? I have no idea.

Detective Munch--He's Everywhere

In 1993, Homicide: Life on the Streets took the air, introducing us to Detective John Munch, ably played by Richard Belzer. Since then, he's been making the rounds and appear in no less than 6 different TV series.

First, there were three seasons in which (I'm guessing to boost the ratings of Homicide (This is how I started watching this excellent show.)) on the Wednesday night episode of Law & Order a crime would somehow have a connection to Baltimore where it would then be resolved on Friday night's Homicide. Munch hit it off well with L&O's Det. Briscoe after discovering that one of them had dated an ex-wife of the other.

The ending of Homicide coincided nicely with the beginning of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, and so Munch moved up to New York and to a job in the SVU.

In the fifth season of The X-Files, there is a flashback episode that explains how such diverse characters as Byers, Frohike, and Langly would ever get together to form "The Lone Gunmen." They meet (and meet Agent Mulder) at a computer tradeshow, and when they get arrested they are grilled by none other that Detective John Munch.

The UPN in 2000 tried their hand at a cop show set in New York with the short-lived The Beat starring Mark Ruffalo and Poppy Montgomery. There were only about a dozen episodes, but the second one guest starred Det. Munch, but I have no idea what the show was about.

And now tonight's episode of the new Law & Order: Trial By Jury featured a cameo by Det. Munch trying to find out who shot Det. Green on Wednesday's Law & Order.

To my knowledge, Munch has made no appearance on Law & Order: Criminal Intent, but I have no idea why.

Operation FALCON

If only National Crime Victim's Rights Week came more than once a year. Or if it were National Crime Victim's Rights Month. Of course, next year if you're wanted for committing a violent crime, you'll know to plan that week long camping trip to avoid Operation FALCON (Federal And Local Cops Organized Nationally). Last week, the US Marshals Service teamed up with state, county, and city cops nationwide for the biggest single week's haul arresting 10,340 fugitives and clearing more than 13,800 felony warrants last week to celebrate National Crime Victim's Rights Week. This week they have returned to Operation FALLABOUT (Federal and Local Law enforcement Agencies Battle Over Usual Things).

They first met when he was 28 and she was 16 when he was dating her sister. They didn't start dating until three years later, and they married four weeks after her 20th birthday when he was 32. He had felt the pressure from his father to get married and produce a son, and he gave in, just like he did ten years earlier when his father had forbid him to marry his true love because she was a year older than he was. But now he was married and eleven months after the marriage, that son had been produced.

He loved the country, but she loved the city. Soon they realized they had nothing in common, they weren't friends, and no surprise, this sad marriage ended in divorce, which is actually not surprising for a woman who marries at 20, but it took 15 years.

Then at the age of 55, he finally marries his best friend, the woman he's known for decades, the woman he shares interests with, the woman his father forbid him from marrying 30 years earlier. Indeed father is "very happy," but yet he still refuses to attend the nuptuals.

Isn't this second marriage what romance is about? Finally getting it right, finally ending up with who it seemed so obvious, overcoming the world set against you. Isn't there a Nicolas Sparks bestseller with this plot?

Maybe if that 19 year old girl was the daughter of mountain farmer or coal miner, then we'd get this reaction. But of course Diana Spencer was the daughter of a viscount who would later become the 7th Earl of Spencer. And she was still marrying up--to the heir to the British throne, no less. It was a fairytale wedding watched by three-quarters of a billion people on TV, many of them dreaming that one day they too could marry a prince 12 years older than themselves with whom they have nothing in common so they can provide her in-laws with a grandson. It is romantic. Now I understand.

Could it be that Prince Charles had both the wedding of the last century and as well as a (if not the) wedding of this century? The first was decidely old fashion, the second more modern. Which one is more highly thought of? Congratulations Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall.

Look out, Ludwig Scotty

When the death of Pope John Paul II this weekend and then the death of Prince Rainier of Monaco yesterday, I don't know if I would want to be in the shoes of Ludwig Scotty, President of Nauru, the world's smallest democracy. The Vatican City (a.k.a., the Holy See) is the world's small country at 0.44 km², Monaco is the second smallest with 1.95 km², and then there's Nauru, an island in the middle of the Pacific, third smallest at 21 km². (For reference, Manhattan is 58.8 km².)

For a very entertaining history of Nauru, listen to the This American Life episode "The Middle of Nowhere" from December 5, 2003. There's offshore banking, political refugees in concentration camps, a failed American attempt to spy on China, and a failed London musical based on the life of Leonardo da Vinci.

President Scotty took office on October 26, 2004, have been elected by the 13,000 residents of the atoll, but he did run unopposed.

Next on the list is Prime Minister Maatia Toafa of Tuvalu, who took office on an interim basis in the fall of 2004 following the resignation of Saufatu Sopoanga, who had lost a no-confidence vote. Toafa then won the following election. Tuvalu is a collection of 8 inhabited atolls, totalling 11,000 people on 26 km². Its principle export seems to be licensing its internet domain extension ".tv."

The Most Serene Republic of San Marino, the third smallest country in Europe and the world's oldest republic has an interesting form of government. Its two Captains Regent are coheads of state and are selected from the unicameral body the Grand and General Council to serve for six month periods. For the period October 1, 2004, to March 31, 2005, they were Captain Regent Giuseppe Arzilli and Captain Regent Roberto Raschi. For April 1, 2005, to Septmeber 30, 2005 they are Fausta Morganti and Cesare Gasperoni.

That Bochco Guy

He's got the golden touch. He created (or co-created) Hill Street Blues, L.A. Law, Doogie Houser, MD and NYPD Blue. One would think he's good at making television shows. But Steven Bochco did create Cop Rock. Maybe you do have to give the guy credit for doing something different with this one. I will admit there is a kitchy appeal to it. Other short lived shows includ Hooperman, starring John Ritter as a cop who may be starting a relationship with the writer he has employed as the super in the apartment building he inheirited, and Bay City Blues, which followed a minor league baseball team around. Then there's the unaired NYPD 2069 about a present day cop cryongenicly frozen and thawed out 66 years later. I want some indepedent varification of the rumor cited on the message board about Bochco paying seven figures to keep this unaired.

I just caught an episode of his new show Blind Justice, about yes, a cop blinded in the line of duty who wants to continue his job as a detective. As bad as this show looked, I thought I'd give it a try. Oh my.

Two woman were raped and had their faces slashed with half a swastika. Yes, I did notice that was a swastika about a half-hour before the cops did, but I'm not sure if it was before her imprisioned brother was said to be involved in white power groups. The cop is of course blind, and so maybe it is understandable that he didn't get it right away. Why his partner or the other detectives on the case who are adamant that the blind cop can't do the job didn't get it until after the blind guy, I don't know.

Clearly a contrived plot, but for what purpose was it contrived? Well, that's equally obvious when the pretty female detective who can see gets nowhere in an interview with the disfigured woman. Ah, this is clearly a job for a blind detective! Give it ten minutes, and the show will catch up to you.

Oh, but these are the good parts of the show. When she is describing her attack, we go into his mind and see with cool graphics the attack happening to his wife. Then when he returns home to find his front door open, he's scared for his wife. So with his seeing-eye dog leading him, he pulls his service revolver and goes in calling for his wife. His wife then comes out of another room saying that she had just gotten home. His gun? He still has his gun? It shows up again later when he and his partner confront the rapist who pulls out his gun to try to commit suicide. The partner yells "Gun!" so that her blind partner knows to pull his gun. This is portrayed deadly seriously. Indeed the rapist does commit suicide (BANG! "What happened? What happened?") but since he can't see the gaping head wound, unlike his sighted partner, he's okay. We need more blind cops.

Then the final scene is the blind cop telling his wife that she needs someone sighted to protect her from rapists. No, she reassures him that she's okay with him. The indirect threat from the imprisoned white power guy notwithstanding, the only threat to her safety in this episode was indeed the blind man waving his gun around in her apartment! And this is done in all seriousness. Who greenlit this?

Home

This fall, the senior partners at the FOX Broadcasting Company will hire a new head of programming--Joss Whedon. However, as we all know, this job will come at with price--Firefly will get to become the number one rated show, but it will be in parallel 'verse and sadly all knowledge of it will be whiped clean from all our memories, with the exception of Joss's of course.

This could make for a great reality show. Fighting the good fight to keep pumping out the good scripted TV while at the same having to satisfy the public's desire for Star Mill, what will Joss and his scrappy band of writers do? How will they get around the mandate that he greenlight Kylie Minogue's demand that she get her own sit-com (A dimuative Aussie pop diva gets stuck inside the brain of a Fortune 500 executive in Can't Get You Out of My Head. Hillarity ensues. Catch the fever this fall on FOX.) so that she will not leave NewsCorp's subsidiary Festival Mushroom Records?